The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize