Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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