I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
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So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
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My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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