My first STD was from a foam party
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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