So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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