Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize