Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
that is very illegal...i love you.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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