Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize