dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize