I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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