Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
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He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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