you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize