she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
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Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
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Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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