Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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