I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize