he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize