I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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