I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
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How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
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I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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