Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize