My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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