hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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