3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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