we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
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I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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