Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize