Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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