I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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