just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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