my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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