Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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