Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize