Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
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The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
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When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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