Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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