How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize