New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize