I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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