jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize