Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize