Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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