Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
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Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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