My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize