when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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