i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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