just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
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He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
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She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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