Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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