i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize