There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
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I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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