idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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