I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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