then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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