cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I feel like death gave me a hand job
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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